state of shock:

body shakes

heart races

breathing quickens

state of panic:

body trapped in place

self puncture whichever piece of flesh is available

death stare the crap out of everything

state of trance:

armin van buuren

oh my god. why are they still together. thats not fair. why is this happening. this shouldnt be happening. they were supposed to break up. 

no.

no

no

no

no

i might finally have a chance to roll.

should i take it?

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if you ask me another question about her i’m going to block you again

remember that one time when you refused to go to coachella, and you wanted  to go play golf instead? yeah me too. 

remember this year when you were pissed af you couldnt go? yeah me too.

so stop fucking around and going to concerts or things or whatever that i wanted to go to first that you just go to cuz you can. fuck you. i never get to do anything.

fuck age limits

fuck school

fuck people

fuck you

i’m testing you. fuck you for passing.

if he didn’t love me

3 days. wish me luck

her album showed up on my newsfeed. i clicked on it, wondering why i could see it…didn’t i block her? went through it twice. looked at her page. then blocked her.

i feel emotionally drained.

it is only now that i have realized how much performing has seroiusly fucked me over.

all my life i’ve been taught, it doesn’t matter what the lines are, or what you say. just say it with conviction and they’ll believe you…they don’t know the difference.

well hey. that rule doesn’t apply anymore. no wonder i suck so much in history.